1
00:00:24,768 --> 00:00:26,650
S01E01
Pilot

2
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sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com

3
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Mom, check it.
Fresh as hell, right?

4
00:00:36,294 --> 00:00:37,661
Eddie, don't say "hell."

5
00:00:37,695 --> 00:00:39,529
He also said "butthole" in the car.

6
00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,731
Shut up, Evan, you little Chinese narc!

7
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- Isn't that necklace heavy?
- Life's heavy, son.

8
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,258
Please, mom, can I get this?

9
00:00:47,278 --> 00:00:48,733
How much?

10
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Too much.

11
00:00:52,295 --> 00:00:53,743
Moms thought everything was too much.

12
00:00:53,778 --> 00:00:56,713
She never understood that you
couldn't haggle at jcpenney.

13
00:00:56,747 --> 00:00:58,882
It's like, "those are set prices, mom."

14
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That's me,
your boy Eddie Huang in the headphones.

15
00:01:04,255 --> 00:01:06,256
My family was moving from Washington, D.C.,

16
00:01:06,290 --> 00:01:07,390
to Orlando, Florida.

17
00:01:07,424 --> 00:01:11,461
I was 11 years old, and it was 1995.

18
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This is the story of my family,
an American family, the Huangs.

19
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That's my dad.

20
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He loved everything about America.

21
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Full-on bought into the American dream.

22
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Moms was always hard on me

23
00:01:21,739 --> 00:01:24,007
way before all that "tiger mom" stuff.

24
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She thought I was trying to cause trouble

25
00:01:25,542 --> 00:01:28,011
wearing that nas shirt,
but she didn't understand.

26
00:01:28,045 --> 00:01:30,546
If you were an outsider,
hip-hop was your anthem.

27
00:01:30,581 --> 00:01:33,149
And I was definitely the
black sheep in my family.

28
00:01:33,183 --> 00:01:35,685
These other people are Emery,
Evan, and grandma. Whatever.

29
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Was I excited about the move? No.

30
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Did anyone ask me if I was excited?

31
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Hell, no.

32
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But it's hard getting
respect when you're 11.

33
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,772
Ugh, dad!
Turn off the music!

34
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Eddie,
I know you're not excited to leave D.C.,

35
00:02:01,478 --> 00:02:03,379
but you're gonna love Orlando.

36
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I've been there for six months
setting up the restaurant,

37
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and I've grown to love it

38
00:02:07,417 --> 00:02:09,285
like the daughter we wished Evan had been.

39
00:02:09,319 --> 00:02:11,654
Hmm? I don't know why we have to move.

40
00:02:11,688 --> 00:02:13,789
Why couldn't you keep
on going back and forth

41
00:02:13,824 --> 00:02:15,124
between Orlando and D.C.?

42
00:02:15,158 --> 00:02:16,759
Because I didn't come to America

43
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to work for your mom's brother

44
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selling furniture for the rest of my life.

45
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Your father is right.

46
00:02:21,831 --> 00:02:24,366
This is why we left Chinatown in D.C.

47
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This is why we left our family and friends.

48
00:02:27,304 --> 00:02:28,470
Exactly.

49
00:02:28,505 --> 00:02:30,105
This is why we left everything we know

50
00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:31,807
to come to a place where we know nothing

51
00:02:31,841 --> 00:02:34,343
and where the humidity
is not good for my hair.

52
00:02:34,377 --> 00:02:36,145
- Right, okay.
- And for what?

53
00:02:36,179 --> 00:02:38,213
So your father can own a cowboy restaurant.

54
00:02:38,248 --> 00:02:40,382
It's called Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse,

55
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and I can't wait for you all to see it.

56
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It is beautiful.

57
00:02:43,653 --> 00:02:45,821
It is big, brown, and beautiful.

58
00:02:45,855 --> 00:02:47,656
- Like Shaq?
- Exactly like Shaq.

59
00:02:47,690 --> 00:02:49,792
Why you like Shaq so much?

60
00:02:49,826 --> 00:02:52,161
Why you not like Pete Sampras?

61
00:02:52,195 --> 00:02:54,363
So sexy. All that hair.

62
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He's okay.

63
00:02:55,698 --> 00:02:58,500
Oh, your favorite song.

64
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Lot of white folks here.

65
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Not like back in D.C.

66
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Yeah.

67
00:03:21,124 --> 00:03:22,424
The only white people we ever saw there

68
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were the tourists who got lost.

69
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White. House.

70
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,968
Hey, you boys just gonna sit there

71
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or pick up a box and help?

72
00:03:35,071 --> 00:03:37,239
Mom, is there a Chinatown in Orlando?

73
00:03:37,273 --> 00:03:39,474
Hey, no more question, Barbara Walters.

74
00:03:39,509 --> 00:03:41,287
Pick up a lamp.

75
00:03:45,281 --> 00:03:47,549
Well, hi. Welcome to the neighborhood.

76
00:03:47,583 --> 00:03:49,384
I'm Deidre. This is Amanda.
This is Samantha.

77
00:03:49,419 --> 00:03:50,819
This is Lisa. This is Carol-Joan.

78
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- Welcome.
- Thank you.

79
00:03:52,221 --> 00:03:53,822
- I'm Jessica.
- Oh.

80
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I was expecting something
a little more exotic,

81
00:03:55,691 --> 00:03:56,858
but I love the name Jessica.

82
00:03:56,893 --> 00:03:58,427
Had a sorority sister with that name.

83
00:03:58,461 --> 00:03:59,995
She died in a horrible riptide accident,

84
00:04:00,029 --> 00:04:01,897
but we dedicated a section
of the highway to her.

85
00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:03,899
Anyway, where you guys from?

86
00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:05,500
My parents were born in Taiwan,

87
00:04:05,535 --> 00:04:07,435
but my brothers and I were born in D.C.

88
00:04:07,470 --> 00:04:09,741
Oh! Your English is very good!

89
00:04:11,307 --> 00:04:13,074
Are you all sister?

90
00:04:14,644 --> 00:04:16,511
Anyhoo, well, we've got to motor,

91
00:04:16,546 --> 00:04:18,446
but we go rollerblading every day,

92
00:04:18,481 --> 00:04:20,448
so if you ever want to join us,
just give us a holler.

93
00:04:22,118 --> 00:04:23,552
Come on.

94
00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:26,187
The loudest one seem to be their queen.

95
00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:29,391
So, who's hungry?

96
00:04:30,493 --> 00:04:33,361
The cactuses were planted in old spittoons.

97
00:04:33,396 --> 00:04:37,365
I wanted it to be authentic,
you know, like the real wild west.

98
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,833
The waiters used to wear spurs,

99
00:04:38,868 --> 00:04:40,769
but they were right at achilles level,

100
00:04:40,803 --> 00:04:42,837
so we had to switch to the black reeboks.

101
00:04:42,872 --> 00:04:43,838
Right, Nancy?

102
00:04:43,873 --> 00:04:45,473
I got sliced up pretty bad.

103
00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:48,176
She did.

104
00:04:48,881 --> 00:04:50,545
Dude, where the hell are we?

105
00:04:50,579 --> 00:04:52,380
I don't think Shaq eats here.

106
00:04:52,415 --> 00:04:54,416
Were there bears in the old west?

107
00:04:55,346 --> 00:04:57,152
Ni ta�i ma�nle.

108
00:04:59,748 --> 00:05:02,090
Where are all the customer?

109
00:05:02,124 --> 00:05:04,092
Technically,
we are still in our soft opening, so...

110
00:05:04,126 --> 00:05:06,027
Louis, there is hardly anyone here,

111
00:05:06,062 --> 00:05:08,096
and that table is only drinking water.

112
00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:10,932
Hey, why you not drink beer?!

113
00:05:10,966 --> 00:05:12,667
The restaurant is doing well, okay?

114
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:14,369
Just not as well as it could be.

115
00:05:14,403 --> 00:05:15,870
Why didn't you tell me?

116
00:05:15,905 --> 00:05:17,305
Because I didn't want to
give you another reason

117
00:05:17,339 --> 00:05:18,706
not to move here.

118
00:05:18,741 --> 00:05:21,810
I just have to figure out
why the people aren't coming.

119
00:05:21,844 --> 00:05:23,344
Maybe it's the food.

120
00:05:23,379 --> 00:05:24,679
It's not the food.

121
00:05:24,713 --> 00:05:26,114
The food is perfect.

122
00:05:26,148 --> 00:05:27,798
Hector's a genius.

123
00:05:37,057 --> 00:05:38,626
Can I sit next to you on the bus?

124
00:05:38,661 --> 00:05:40,028
Sure. If you want.

125
00:05:40,062 --> 00:05:42,864
Me and Emery are gonna sit
next to each other on our bus.

126
00:05:42,898 --> 00:05:44,299
You're on a different bus

127
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,367
because you're at a different school,

128
00:05:46,402 --> 00:05:48,536
so I don't know who you'll sit next to.

129
00:05:48,571 --> 00:05:51,172
Definitely not Emery, though.
He'll be next to me.

130
00:05:51,206 --> 00:05:53,098
Oh, shut up, Evan.

131
00:05:53,118 --> 00:05:55,710
Mom, why do we have to
start school on a Wednesday?

132
00:05:55,744 --> 00:05:57,045
Why can't we wait till Monday?

133
00:05:57,079 --> 00:05:58,479
Why wait? You need to go to school

134
00:05:58,514 --> 00:06:00,515
so you go to college so
you can make lots of money.

135
00:06:00,549 --> 00:06:01,749
All you care about is money.

136
00:06:01,784 --> 00:06:03,618
Do me a favor. Go find a homeless man.

137
00:06:03,652 --> 00:06:06,587
Ask him if he thinks money matters.
You tell me what he says.

138
00:06:06,622 --> 00:06:07,655
You're all about the eggs.

139
00:06:07,690 --> 00:06:09,223
Eddie, eggs are life.

140
00:06:09,258 --> 00:06:11,084
You came from my eggs.

141
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,429
Okay, so...

142
00:06:14,463 --> 00:06:17,432
I want you all to be polite,

143
00:06:17,466 --> 00:06:19,167
respectful, and don't make waves.

144
00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:20,568
Why you only looking at me?

145
00:06:20,602 --> 00:06:22,036
No, I'm talking to all of you.

146
00:06:22,071 --> 00:06:24,412
Dude, you were looking right at me.

147
00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:28,242
Okay, I was talking to you.

148
00:06:28,277 --> 00:06:31,612
Why do all your shirts
have black men on them?

149
00:06:31,647 --> 00:06:33,281
It's notorious B.I.G.!

150
00:06:33,315 --> 00:06:35,550
Me and him are both dudes with mad dreams,

151
00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:38,419
just trying to get a little
bit of respect in the game,

152
00:06:38,454 --> 00:06:39,454
just trying to get a nut.

153
00:06:39,488 --> 00:06:40,721
Jessica, I figured it out.

154
00:06:40,756 --> 00:06:43,024
Dad, how come we have to
start school on a Wednesday?

155
00:06:43,058 --> 00:06:44,592
That's a great question. Go to school.

156
00:06:44,626 --> 00:06:45,726
Go, go, go, go.

157
00:06:46,554 --> 00:06:48,429
I was blow-drying my hair,
and I figured it out...

158
00:06:48,463 --> 00:06:50,364
how the restaurant can
attract bigger crowds.

159
00:06:50,399 --> 00:06:51,399
Well, how?

160
00:06:51,433 --> 00:06:54,035
I need to hire a white host.

161
00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:56,504
Instead of people coming in
and seeing a Chinese face

162
00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:57,605
and saying, "huh?

163
00:06:57,639 --> 00:06:59,640
I thought this was an old west steakhouse,"

164
00:06:59,675 --> 00:07:02,910
they see a white face and say,
"oh, hello, white friend.

165
00:07:02,945 --> 00:07:04,914
I am comfortable."

166
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:06,314
See?

167
00:07:06,348 --> 00:07:07,782
Exactly. Not welcoming.

168
00:07:07,816 --> 00:07:11,568
That's why no to your face
and yes to the white face!

169
00:07:11,717 --> 00:07:14,789
Nice, happy white face, like Bill Pullman.

170
00:07:16,058 --> 00:07:18,092
Class,
I'd like to introduce you to a new student.

171
00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:21,262
I know it's a little unorthodox
being a Wednesday and all,

172
00:07:21,296 --> 00:07:23,030
but I'd like you all to give a warm,

173
00:07:23,065 --> 00:07:26,634
Abraham Lincoln middle school welcome to...

174
00:07:26,668 --> 00:07:29,670
"Hung-ge Yi Minge."

175
00:07:29,705 --> 00:07:30,838
Yeah, call me Eddie.

176
00:07:30,872 --> 00:07:32,367
Oh, thank God.

177
00:07:52,467 --> 00:07:54,261
What's up? Cool if I sit?

178
00:07:54,296 --> 00:07:55,614
No.

179
00:07:56,795 --> 00:07:58,966
Fine, but don't try to talk to me.

180
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,034
I don't like kids.

181
00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:02,336
My best friend is a 40-year-old man.

182
00:08:05,183 --> 00:08:07,583
Yo. Yo, Chinese kid.

183
00:08:09,312 --> 00:08:11,812
What's your name again? Something Chinese?

184
00:08:11,846 --> 00:08:13,781
My name's Eddie.

185
00:08:13,815 --> 00:08:15,649
Eddie?

186
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:19,853
You into B.I.G.?

187
00:08:19,888 --> 00:08:22,356
Yeah, man. He's sick.

188
00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,725
I bought "Ready to die"
the day it came out.

189
00:08:24,759 --> 00:08:26,393
You bought it? I stole it.

190
00:08:27,495 --> 00:08:29,730
- Yo, come sit with us.
- Yeah?

191
00:08:29,764 --> 00:08:31,999
Okay, man. Cool.

192
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:36,837
A white dude and an Asian dude
bonding over a black dude.

193
00:08:36,871 --> 00:08:39,506
This cafeteria's ridiculous.

194
00:08:39,541 --> 00:08:40,908
So, I'm Eddie.

195
00:08:40,942 --> 00:08:42,142
- What's up?
- Hey, dude.

196
00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:43,177
What's up, man?

197
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:44,812
Yeah, so my cousin told me about B.I.G.

198
00:08:44,846 --> 00:08:46,713
when I went to visit him last summer,
and he...

199
00:08:46,748 --> 00:08:48,982
Oh! What is that?! Gross!

200
00:08:49,017 --> 00:08:50,551
It's Chinese food. My mom made it.

201
00:08:50,585 --> 00:08:51,919
Get it out of here! Oh, my God!

202
00:08:51,953 --> 00:08:54,054
Ying Ding's eating worms.

203
00:08:55,223 --> 00:08:57,057
Go! Go! Oh! Get that out of here!

204
00:08:57,091 --> 00:08:59,793
Go! Dude, that smells nasty!

205
00:09:04,565 --> 00:09:06,466
Oh, it didn't go well?

206
00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:09,236
The white people didn't
welcome you with open arms?

207
00:09:09,270 --> 00:09:12,439
What? Sit elsewhere, B.I.G.

208
00:09:19,469 --> 00:09:21,818
Oh,
I cannot believe Jake slept with Brittany.

209
00:09:21,838 --> 00:09:23,572
He knew Palmer woodward was using her

210
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:25,040
as part of a plot to destroy him

211
00:09:25,074 --> 00:09:28,176
and help Amanda take controlling
interest of Melrose Place.

212
00:09:28,211 --> 00:09:29,344
Right, Jessica?

213
00:09:29,378 --> 00:09:32,442
Yes. All those white people
sound like they are making mistake.

214
00:09:32,462 --> 00:09:34,871
Oh, the school bus is here!

215
00:09:34,891 --> 00:09:37,303
I should go see how my boys' day was.

216
00:09:37,323 --> 00:09:38,353
Okay, sugar.

217
00:09:38,388 --> 00:09:40,322
Bye. I'm making you a mixtape.

218
00:09:40,356 --> 00:09:41,857
I hope you like Eric Clapton.

219
00:09:42,892 --> 00:09:44,538
Thank you.

220
00:09:45,228 --> 00:09:47,462
Hey.
So, how was your first...

221
00:09:47,497 --> 00:09:48,697
They said my lunch smelled!

222
00:09:48,731 --> 00:09:50,132
It smelled delicious?

223
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,700
No, they said it stank, mom!

224
00:09:51,734 --> 00:09:53,201
I had to eat behind the gym

225
00:09:53,236 --> 00:09:55,653
where the janitor flies his kite.

226
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,706
This is nice.

227
00:09:59,175 --> 00:10:01,843
Well, those kids,
they just don't know, that's all.

228
00:10:01,878 --> 00:10:04,559
It just... it just take time to
get used to something different.

229
00:10:04,579 --> 00:10:07,849
I hate it here! I want to go back to D.C.

230
00:10:07,884 --> 00:10:10,051
Eddie, that's not possible.
We are here now.

231
00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:11,686
We have to make the best of it.

232
00:10:11,721 --> 00:10:13,892
Like I am doing with this neighbor woman.

233
00:10:13,912 --> 00:10:15,757
You think I like pretending

234
00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:19,561
Samantha isn't carrying a
baggie of dog poops in her hand?

235
00:10:19,595 --> 00:10:23,398
No! I don't like this!
We all see the poops there!

236
00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:25,233
It's rolling around! But I am trying!

237
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:26,901
You have to try, too.

238
00:10:26,936 --> 00:10:28,503
You're never on my side.

239
00:10:28,537 --> 00:10:30,638
Eddie. Eddie, wait!

240
00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:33,441
Hey, mom.

241
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:34,709
This is my girlfriend, Kim.

242
00:10:34,744 --> 00:10:36,010
Hi, Mrs. Huang.

243
00:10:36,045 --> 00:10:38,213
- I'm gonna walk her home, okay?
- Bye, Mrs. Huang.

244
00:10:38,247 --> 00:10:40,315
Mom.

245
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:43,918
There's a fat kid at school named J.J.,
and he's hilarious.

246
00:10:43,953 --> 00:10:45,653
Help mommy.

247
00:10:48,858 --> 00:10:51,092
Comic sans. That's a funny font.

248
00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:52,093
Thank you.

249
00:10:52,127 --> 00:10:53,661
It's a great resume.

250
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:56,059
Yeah, I've always wanted
to work at a Golden Corral.

251
00:10:56,332 --> 00:10:57,599
This isn't a Golden Corral.

252
00:10:57,633 --> 00:10:59,667
Yes, it is. Isn't it?
This is Cattleman's Ranch.

253
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:02,203
But I thought like a spin-off of Golden
Corral 'cause it's got all the same stuff.

254
00:11:02,237 --> 00:11:04,272
It's not the same stuff.
It's very different stuff.

255
00:11:04,306 --> 00:11:05,607
Well, that bear is the same.

256
00:11:05,641 --> 00:11:07,408
No, that bear is brown.

257
00:11:07,443 --> 00:11:09,010
At Golden Corral, the bear is black.

258
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,045
- The snake skins?
- Different snake.

259
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,780
Completely different snake.

260
00:11:12,815 --> 00:11:14,082
Okay, yeah. Look, you're the boss.

261
00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:15,783
If you tell me
this is not a Golden Corral,

262
00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:17,185
- I'm gonna believe you.
- No, it's completely different.

263
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:18,386
- You're crazy.
- I am.

264
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:19,854
I'm... I mean, I'm not super crazy,

265
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,756
'cause it does look exactly the same.

266
00:11:21,790 --> 00:11:24,358
This is the original
Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse.

267
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:27,195
- So there's more than one?
- N-no, there's just one.

268
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:29,363
There's no other restaurant like it, okay?

269
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,299
- Okay.
- Okay.

270
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:33,434
So, Mitch, tell me... where are you from?

271
00:11:33,469 --> 00:11:34,469
Orlando, born and raised.

272
00:11:34,503 --> 00:11:35,736
I love Orlando.

273
00:11:35,771 --> 00:11:37,672
Where else am I gonna see an alligator

274
00:11:37,706 --> 00:11:39,507
run out on the street and eat a cat?

275
00:11:39,541 --> 00:11:40,808
I am a cat person, too.

276
00:11:42,044 --> 00:11:43,744
- That's good.
- Yeah.

277
00:11:43,779 --> 00:11:45,639
Mitch, you're hired.

278
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,751
Well, Evan is not going to school today.

279
00:11:50,786 --> 00:11:53,220
His fat friend J.J. gave him string cheese,

280
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:54,722
and apparently, he is lactose intolerant.

281
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,224
His body is rejecting white culture,

282
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,060
which make me kind of proud.

283
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:00,895
Good job, Evan.

284
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,930
Mom, no! I don't want Chinese lunch!

285
00:12:02,964 --> 00:12:04,465
I want white-people food!

286
00:12:04,499 --> 00:12:06,634
The kids at school will get used to it!

287
00:12:06,668 --> 00:12:09,003
Ugh! You're never on my side.

288
00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:16,610
What are you doing?

289
00:12:16,645 --> 00:12:18,846
You're not gonna have any lunch to eat.

290
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,014
I'll be fine.

291
00:12:20,048 --> 00:12:22,016
Kids aren't teasing you about your lunch?

292
00:12:22,050 --> 00:12:23,517
- No, not yet.
- They will.

293
00:12:23,552 --> 00:12:25,586
- People here suck.
- Totally.

294
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,087
- Hey, Emery!
- Hey, what's up?

295
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,490
Oh, hey, Emery. You coming to
my birthday party next weekend?

296
00:12:29,524 --> 00:12:30,758
Hey, George. I'll be there.

297
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,409
Hey, boo. Got you a soda.

298
00:12:34,162 --> 00:12:35,863
Why aren't chicks bringing me soda?

299
00:12:35,897 --> 00:12:38,085
You want it too much.

300
00:12:39,752 --> 00:12:42,338
Hey, Mitch.
Hey. How's the lunch...

301
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:44,813
crowd?

302
00:12:45,407 --> 00:12:46,640
It's still the same?

303
00:12:46,675 --> 00:12:48,242
I just think we have to give it time,
you know?

304
00:12:48,276 --> 00:12:49,510
- Get the word out there.
- No.

305
00:12:49,544 --> 00:12:51,378
I moved my whole family here for this.

306
00:12:51,413 --> 00:12:54,014
I need your caucasian features to work now!

307
00:12:54,049 --> 00:12:55,683
My wife is not a patient woman.

308
00:12:55,717 --> 00:12:58,319
Do you know how many times
she tried to start a garden?

309
00:12:58,353 --> 00:13:00,554
Have you ever seen a
woman yelling at seeds?

310
00:13:00,588 --> 00:13:02,556
- "Grow! Grow!"
- I hear you.

311
00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:05,159
You know, my mom is the worst roommate.

312
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:08,595
It's like, if you're making toast,
make us both toast.

313
00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:11,432
Uh, that's why there's two slots, you know?

314
00:13:16,144 --> 00:13:17,404
I talked to my sister today.

315
00:13:17,439 --> 00:13:19,006
My brother bought a brand-new miata.

316
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,341
It's not new.
There's no way that car is new.

317
00:13:21,376 --> 00:13:22,443
- I think it's new.
- No.

318
00:13:22,477 --> 00:13:23,443
- New.
- No.

319
00:13:23,478 --> 00:13:24,645
It's not new.

320
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,248
Eddie, why are you eating so much?

321
00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:29,516
I'm hungry.

322
00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:30,884
Didn't you eat your lunch today?

323
00:13:30,919 --> 00:13:32,519
Yeah, but I'm still hungry.

324
00:13:32,554 --> 00:13:33,787
Oh, okay.

325
00:13:33,822 --> 00:13:35,756
How you like the xiaolongbao I pack you?

326
00:13:35,790 --> 00:13:38,383
- It was really good.
- Liar.

327
00:13:38,756 --> 00:13:40,960
I did not pack xiaolongbao!

328
00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:43,864
Okay. Fine.

329
00:13:44,885 --> 00:13:45,947
I threw my lunch away.

330
00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:46,900
- I cannot believe you, Eddie!
- Come on, Eddie.

331
00:13:46,935 --> 00:13:48,235
- That's wasteful, man.
- This is good food I make.

332
00:13:48,269 --> 00:13:49,937
You love my food.

333
00:13:49,971 --> 00:13:52,039
I need white-people lunch.

334
00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:53,874
That gets me a seat at the table.

335
00:13:53,908 --> 00:13:56,476
And then you get to change the rules.

336
00:13:56,511 --> 00:13:58,412
Represent, like nas says.

337
00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:01,548
I'm not trying to eat with the
janitor for the rest of my life.

338
00:14:01,582 --> 00:14:03,450
I got big plans.

339
00:14:03,484 --> 00:14:05,752
First, get a seat at the table.

340
00:14:05,787 --> 00:14:07,821
Second, meet Shaq.

341
00:14:07,855 --> 00:14:10,223
Third, change the game.

342
00:14:10,258 --> 00:14:13,193
Possibly with the help of Shaq.

343
00:14:13,871 --> 00:14:16,096
Damn it, that was beautiful.

344
00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:20,100
That filthy music you listen
to turned you into a poet, boy.

345
00:14:21,535 --> 00:14:22,402
Okay.

346
00:14:22,437 --> 00:14:24,979
What is this white-people lunch?

347
00:14:27,609 --> 00:14:30,710
What is this store so excited about?

348
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:34,214
This is where lunchables live, mom.

349
00:14:35,406 --> 00:14:38,552
If we get separated,
try and join a white family.

350
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:42,422
You will be safe there
until I can find you.

351
00:14:50,833 --> 00:14:52,508
Whoa.

352
00:14:52,968 --> 00:14:55,603
This is not how I like to shop.

353
00:14:55,637 --> 00:14:58,439
This place looks like a hospital.

354
00:14:58,473 --> 00:15:00,752
I miss the taiwanese markets back in D.C.

355
00:15:00,772 --> 00:15:02,618
They make me feel so calm.

356
00:15:15,257 --> 00:15:16,857
Wow.

357
00:15:16,892 --> 00:15:19,382
Everything fits perfectly inside the box.

358
00:15:19,402 --> 00:15:21,362
Awesome!

359
00:15:21,396 --> 00:15:23,998
You want to fit inside a box?

360
00:15:24,032 --> 00:15:25,252
That's so American.

361
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:29,003
- Why are you so American?
- Fiesta tortilla chip? Free sample.

362
00:15:29,038 --> 00:15:31,839
This is free? Okay!

363
00:15:36,746 --> 00:15:37,753
How are you doing?

364
00:15:37,773 --> 00:15:40,141
Everyone getting ready for the shoot?
You good, Nancy?

365
00:15:40,161 --> 00:15:42,106
Can I have Saturday off?
I'm deejaying a bat mitzvah.

366
00:15:42,126 --> 00:15:43,485
Nope.

367
00:15:43,519 --> 00:15:45,920
Hey, Joe,
no Margaritas till after the shoot, okay?

368
00:15:45,955 --> 00:15:48,289
Okay.

369
00:15:48,324 --> 00:15:50,191
Hey, Mr. Cattleman.

370
00:15:50,226 --> 00:15:51,793
How we feeling? We all ready to go?

371
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,328
Uh, not really.

372
00:15:53,362 --> 00:15:55,063
I feel like I've told you numerous times.

373
00:15:55,097 --> 00:15:57,632
I don't want to do this,
but all you do is smile and nod.

374
00:15:58,868 --> 00:16:00,702
No, you're doing it.
No, that... you're doing it.

375
00:16:00,736 --> 00:16:02,628
What is all this, Louis?

376
00:16:03,772 --> 00:16:06,508
We are shooting a local commercial.

377
00:16:06,542 --> 00:16:08,710
A commercial? Why didn't you tell me?

378
00:16:08,744 --> 00:16:10,845
How much is this going to cost us?!

379
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,900
Come here. Come on.

380
00:16:13,796 --> 00:16:16,284
I miss our family and
friends in Washington, D.C.

381
00:16:16,318 --> 00:16:18,686
And Eddie's having a hard time at school.

382
00:16:18,721 --> 00:16:20,588
And Evan is lactose intolerant.

383
00:16:20,623 --> 00:16:21,923
And Emery...

384
00:16:21,957 --> 00:16:24,092
well, Emery's doing surprisingly well.

385
00:16:24,126 --> 00:16:26,961
But all you care about
is the stupid restaurant,

386
00:16:26,996 --> 00:16:28,897
which is the whole reason
I agreed to move here!

387
00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:30,765
Because you say it was doing well!

388
00:16:30,799 --> 00:16:33,468
It's not doing well!
And so I am worried about money.

389
00:16:33,502 --> 00:16:35,803
And look at my hair!

390
00:16:35,838 --> 00:16:37,805
My hair is terrible!

391
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,274
Your hair is terrible, but so was mine.

392
00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:42,210
And I fixed it using product.

393
00:16:42,244 --> 00:16:44,312
I love that you have big dreams,

394
00:16:44,346 --> 00:16:46,948
but I don't want to lose everything, Louis.

395
00:16:46,982 --> 00:16:48,182
Let's just go home.

396
00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:49,417
- We can't do that.
- Why?

397
00:16:49,451 --> 00:16:51,319
What's so important we had to move here

398
00:16:51,353 --> 00:16:54,109
and change our whole lives?

399
00:16:54,943 --> 00:16:56,657
Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Huang.

400
00:16:56,692 --> 00:16:58,909
The burro is ready for blocking.

401
00:17:00,095 --> 00:17:01,863
Thank you, Nancy.

402
00:17:02,571 --> 00:17:04,610
We'll discuss this later.

403
00:17:10,706 --> 00:17:11,706
Oh, cool.

404
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,774
You got turkey and cheese lunchables?

405
00:17:13,809 --> 00:17:16,611
I got pizza.

406
00:17:22,366 --> 00:17:23,517
Yo, man! What you doing?!

407
00:17:23,552 --> 00:17:25,686
Get used to it.
You're the one at the bottom now.

408
00:17:25,721 --> 00:17:26,787
No, I'm not!

409
00:17:26,822 --> 00:17:28,189
Yeah, you are!

410
00:17:28,223 --> 00:17:30,163
It's my turn, chink!

411
00:17:42,838 --> 00:17:45,206
And according to the lunch monitor,

412
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,208
he kicked him in the groinal area,

413
00:17:47,242 --> 00:17:48,676
shoved pudding in his face,

414
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:50,811
and unleashed a stream of obscenities

415
00:17:50,846 --> 00:17:53,581
I can't repeat because God is listening.

416
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:56,840
There were some words he used
that I've never heard before,

417
00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:58,752
and I grew up in Boston.

418
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:03,057
This is a very serious offense,
Mr. and Mrs. Huang.

419
00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:06,229
Yes, it is. We are very upset.

420
00:18:07,535 --> 00:18:11,154
That you didn't do
anything to defend Eddie.

421
00:18:12,233 --> 00:18:13,200
Excuse me?

422
00:18:13,234 --> 00:18:14,802
That boy called our son a chink.

423
00:18:14,836 --> 00:18:16,003
You think that's okay?

424
00:18:16,037 --> 00:18:17,838
Why didn't you do anything about that?

425
00:18:17,872 --> 00:18:19,406
How come only Eddie's out there?!

426
00:18:19,441 --> 00:18:21,308
How come that boy is not also out there?!

427
00:18:21,342 --> 00:18:22,509
Where are his parents?!

428
00:18:22,544 --> 00:18:24,078
Or his 40-year-old best friend?

429
00:18:24,112 --> 00:18:26,713
And why aren't we talking
about the fact that he has a...

430
00:18:26,748 --> 00:18:28,082
40-year-old best friend?!

431
00:18:28,116 --> 00:18:29,917
- The school's fine with that?
- Fishy.

432
00:18:29,951 --> 00:18:31,819
I don't think you understand.

433
00:18:31,853 --> 00:18:34,288
We're talking about possible suspension.

434
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:37,191
If you try to suspend
our son because of this,

435
00:18:37,225 --> 00:18:39,593
we will sue everyone in this school.

436
00:18:39,627 --> 00:18:42,763
So fast, it'll make your head spin.

437
00:18:42,797 --> 00:18:45,866
Hey, it's the American way, right?

438
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,134
You know about that.

439
00:18:51,507 --> 00:18:55,867
- Oh, I, um, have a coupon for you.
- Oh, yes.

440
00:18:55,887 --> 00:18:57,311
It's a restaurant called Cattleman's ranch.

441
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:58,445
Special.

442
00:18:58,479 --> 00:18:59,780
You get a free onion blossom

443
00:18:59,814 --> 00:19:03,314
with the purchase of any entree,
but you have to buy a drink.

444
00:19:03,584 --> 00:19:05,185
W-why did you stand up for me?

445
00:19:05,219 --> 00:19:07,187
You do your best not to make waves,

446
00:19:07,221 --> 00:19:10,323
but I will never be mad at you
for standing up for yourself.

447
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,491
This is why.

448
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,026
This is why what?

449
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,594
This is why we moved here.

450
00:19:14,629 --> 00:19:16,563
I'm sorry for what happened to Eddie,

451
00:19:16,597 --> 00:19:18,532
but it's going to make him stronger.

452
00:19:18,566 --> 00:19:20,333
In fact, us coming to this new place

453
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,569
is going to make us all stronger.

454
00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:25,609
I came down here,
and I opened a wild west restaurant

455
00:19:25,629 --> 00:19:27,507
because this is the wild west...

456
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:31,103
a lawless land for only
the bravest of families!

457
00:19:31,439 --> 00:19:33,380
There is opportunity here

458
00:19:33,414 --> 00:19:35,734
to make a better life for our family.

459
00:19:35,754 --> 00:19:37,751
I don't want to work for
your brother forever.

460
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:39,519
No. Me?

461
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,187
I got big dreams.

462
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,429
I got big plans.

463
00:19:43,889 --> 00:19:46,219
Things were okay for us back in D.C.,

464
00:19:46,239 --> 00:19:48,661
but I want more than okay for us.

465
00:19:48,696 --> 00:19:50,997
You're just trying to get a nut, dad.

466
00:19:54,602 --> 00:19:57,237
I want more than okay for us, too.

467
00:19:57,806 --> 00:19:59,646
I am with you.

468
00:20:00,429 --> 00:20:02,332
Nut for me, also.

469
00:20:07,742 --> 00:20:10,595
But this is not the west.
This is the south.

470
00:20:10,615 --> 00:20:12,752
If we want to go west,
we should go to California.

471
00:20:12,786 --> 00:20:15,154
Do you know how expensive California is?

472
00:20:15,189 --> 00:20:18,057
This is west for us. This is fine.

473
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,426
When you live in a lunchables world,

474
00:20:20,461 --> 00:20:23,229
it's not always easy being
homemade chinese food.

475
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:24,864
But it's also what makes you special.

476
00:20:24,898 --> 00:20:26,699
My family was gonna create
their place in Orlando,

477
00:20:26,734 --> 00:20:28,167
and we're gonna do it our way,

478
00:20:28,202 --> 00:20:30,002
because you don't have to
pretend to be someone else

479
00:20:30,037 --> 00:20:31,304
in order to belong.

480
00:20:31,338 --> 00:20:33,239
Yeah, son.

481
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,481
A little bit of respect.

482
00:20:35,742 --> 00:20:38,911
like B.I.G. Said, if you don't know,
now you know.

483
00:20:45,981 --> 00:20:47,047
Hey, y'all.

484
00:20:47,082 --> 00:20:49,149
When my neck gets red

485
00:20:49,184 --> 00:20:52,987
'cause of my white skin
is out in the yellow sun,

486
00:20:53,054 --> 00:20:56,385
I like to come here to Cattleman's ranch,

487
00:20:57,404 --> 00:21:01,073
Where I can get comfortable
along people of my own kind.

488
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,933
Maybe meet my wife or my cousin.

489
00:21:03,953 --> 00:21:05,512
Or my cousin's wife.

490
00:21:05,858 --> 00:21:08,681
For an onion blossom for only 2.99.

491
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,247
Tell them I send you.

492
00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:13,244
Who am I?
Cattleman Mitch.

493
00:21:13,467 --> 00:21:16,412
And his pal Eric the donkey.

494
00:21:20,548 --> 00:21:24,005
I think we really have something here.

495
00:21:24,378 --> 00:21:27,810
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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